i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
Randomize
