I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
Randomize
