hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
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