google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
It was like getting head from an anaconda
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
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