nut hugger
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
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