There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
You had me at "let me see your balls"
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
Randomize
