I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
Screwed.edu
Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Randomize
