I don't usually arrange sex via text message
I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
Randomize
