It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
Randomize
