His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
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