these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Randomize
