***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
He left a cum stain in the shape of a heart on my sheets.
He's like the Bob Ross of love stains.
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
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