I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
