the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
Randomize
