he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
You're wonderful. How are you always such a good friend?
50% genetics, 50% driven by a desire for people to drunkenly eat donuts at my funeral and then have fantastic cry-sex afterward.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
Randomize