This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
foreskin is a definite game changer
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
Randomize
