Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
Randomize
