I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
dude. I can hear the air.
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
Randomize
