Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
Sitting in bed reading a porn novel off my phone and accidentally just made Siri start reading the most graphic part aloud. FUN FIRST NIGHT WITH THE NEW ROOMIE.
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
Randomize
