'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
When the bouncer doesn't let you in... Don't ask him where he works so you could file a complaint with the better business bureau... It only proves him right.
It's 5 PM...and you're 35. Congrats on being an amazing human being.
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
