I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
Randomize
