lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
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