Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
Randomize
