i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
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