I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
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