fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
