just come out here and I will go home with you...
hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
he was CRYING into my vagina
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
Randomize
