I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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