I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
Randomize
