I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
finding my wedding ring encrusted in vomit this morning really just topped off last night...
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
Sorry about my sloppy drunk texts. I'm not sure talking about banging a near dead Jimmy Stewart was my finest moment
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
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