So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
Randomize
