what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
Randomize
