He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
Randomize
