You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
Randomize
