Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
Randomize
