Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Randomize
