Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
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