i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
Randomize
