Walk of Shame. In a state park.
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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