you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
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