it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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