He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
Randomize
