Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
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