I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
If you fucking touch my phone and text people, drunk or sober, ever again, i will shove a swizle stick up your pee hole.
Randomize
