Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
Randomize
