She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
Randomize
