i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Randomize
