me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
Randomize
