these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Randomize
