EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
